{"id":2326,"date":"2014-11-19T14:15:47","date_gmt":"2014-11-19T19:15:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/?p=2326"},"modified":"2014-11-19T09:18:46","modified_gmt":"2014-11-19T14:18:46","slug":"trustgiving-2014-giving-trust-after-betrayal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/?p=2326","title":{"rendered":"TRUSTGiving 2014: Giving Trust After Betrayal"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"boxyPaddingBig\" style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/?attachment_id=2266\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2266\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2266\" src=\"http:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/TrustGiving-2014Large-Logo-Final-227x300.jpg\" alt=\"TrustGiving 2014 Logo-Final\" width=\"227\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/TrustGiving-2014Large-Logo-Final-227x300.jpg 227w, https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/TrustGiving-2014Large-Logo-Final-776x1024.jpg 776w, https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/TrustGiving-2014Large-Logo-Final.jpg 1250w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 227px) 100vw, 227px\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"boxyPaddingBig\" style=\"color: #000000;\"><\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/trustacrossamerica.com\/trust-giving.shtml\">TRUSTGiving 2014<\/a>, our first annual weeklong trust awareness campaign. \u00a0Join the\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/trustacrossamerica.com\/cgi-bin\/alliance.cgi\">Alliance of Trustworthy Business Experts<\/a>\u00a0as our members help our readers navigate the complexities of trust. We\u00a0will be blogging (several times a day) and posting on Twitter #TrustGiving2014.<\/p>\n<p><b>Read what Randy Conley has to say about trust and betrayal.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>How Can You Give Trust When You Have Been Betrayed?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Suffering a betrayal of trust can be one of the most difficult and challenging times in your life. Depending on the severity of the offense, some people choose not to pursue recovery of the relationship. For those that do, the process of restoration can take days, weeks, months, or even years. If you choose to invest the time and energy to rebuild a relationship with someone who has broken your trust, you have to begin with forgiveness.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>As you consider forgiving someone who has betrayed your trust, here are some things to keep in mind:<\/em><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em><strong>Forgiveness is a choice<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 It\u2019s not a feeling or an attitude. Forgiving someone is a mental decision, a choice that you have complete control over. You don\u2019t have to wait until you \u201cfeel\u201d like forgiving someone.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Forgiving doesn\u2019t mean forgetting<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 You don\u2019t have to forget the betrayal in order to forgive. You may never forget what happened, and those memories will creep in occasionally, but you can choose to forgive and move on.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Forgiveness doesn\u2019t eliminate consequences<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Some people are reticent to give forgiveness because somehow they think it lets the other person off-the-hook from what they did wrong. Not true. Consequences should still be enforced even if you grant forgiveness.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Forgiving doesn\u2019t make you a weakling or a doormat<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Forgiveness shows maturity and depth of character. If you allow repeated violations of your trust then you\u2019re a doormat. But forgiving others while adhering to healthy boundaries is a sign of strength, not weakness.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Don\u2019t forgive just to avoid pain<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 It can be easy to quickly grant forgiveness in order to avoid conflict and pain in the relationship. This usually is an attempt at conflict avoidance rather than true forgiveness. Take the appropriate amount of time to think through the situation and what will be involved in repairing the relationship before you grant forgiveness.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Don\u2019t use forgiveness as a weapon<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 If you truly forgive someone, you won\u2019t use their past behavior as a tool to harm them whenever you feel the need to get a little revenge.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Forgiveness isn\u2019t dependent on the other person showing remorse<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Whether or not the person who violated your trust apologizes or shows remorse for their behavior, the decision to forgive rests solely with you. Withholding forgiveness doesn\u2019t hurt the other person, it only hurts you, and it\u2019s not going to change anything that happened in the past. Forgiveness is up to you.<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>Forgiveness is freedom<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 Holding on to pain and bitterness drains your energy and negatively colors your outlook on life. Granting forgiveness allows you to let go of the negative emotions that hold you back and gives you the ability to move forward with freedom and optimism.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>Forgiveness is the first step in rebuilding a relationship with someone who has betrayed your trust.\u00a0 As we head into the holiday season, TRUSTGiving2014 is an ideal time to take action to repair those low-trust relationships you\u2019ve been tolerating. The choice is yours. Will you choose to forgive?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Randy Conley<\/strong> is the Vice President of Client Services &amp; Trust Practice Leader for The Ken Blanchard Companies. He works with clients around the globe helping them design &amp; deliver training and consulting solutions that build trust in the workplace and oversees Blanchard&#8217;s client delivery operations. He has been named a <a href=\"http:\/\/trustacrossamerica.com\/offerings-thought-leaders-2014.shtml\">Top 100 Thought Leader in Trustworthy Business Behavior <\/a>by Trust Across America. Randy holds a Masters Degree in Executive Leadership from the University of San Diego. You can follow Randy on Twitter @RandyConley where he shares thoughts on leadership and trust.<\/p>\n<p><strong style=\"color: #000000;\">Barbara Brooks Kimmel<\/strong><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0is the Executive Director of\u00a0<\/span><a style=\"color: #4f81d8;\" href=\"http:\/\/trustacrossamerica.com\/index.shtml\">Trust Across America-Trust Around the World<\/a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0whose mission is to help organizations build trust. She is also the editor of the award winning\u00a0<\/span><a style=\"color: #4f81d8;\" href=\"http:\/\/trustacrossamerica.com\/order.shtml\">TRUST INC.<\/a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0book series and the Executive Editor of\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/trustacrossamerica.com\/magazine.shtml\">TRUST! Magazine<\/a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">. In 2012 Barbara was named \u201cOne of 25 Women Changing the World\u201d by Good Business International.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Copyright 2014, Next Decade, Inc.<\/p>\n<div class=\"wp-best-social-bookmark\"><ul class=\"socials\"><li class=\"oknotizie\"><a href=\"http:\/\/oknotizie.virgilio.it\/post.html.php?url=https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/?p=2326&title=TRUSTGiving 2014: Giving Trust After Betrayal\" title=\"Share this on oknotizie\"> <\/a><\/li><li class=\"twitter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/home?status=TRUSTGiving 2014: Giving Trust After Betrayal &raquo; https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/?p=2326\" title=\"Share this on twitter\"> <\/a><\/li><li class=\"delicious\"><a href=\"http:\/\/del.icio.us\/post?url=https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/?p=2326&title=TRUSTGiving 2014: Giving Trust After Betrayal\" title=\"Share this on del.icio.us\"> <\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forgiveness is the first step in rebuilding a relationship after a trust betrayal.  As we head into the holiday season, TRUSTGiving2014 is an ideal time to repair those low-trust relationships you\u2019ve been tolerating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[51],"tags":[74,122,18,81,3,5,6],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2326"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2328,"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326\/revisions\/2328"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.trustacrossamerica.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}